Today is my 13th wedding anniversary.

I was thinking about this on the way home last night, and if I’m completely honest, I never thought we’d make it to this day.  Just over a year ago, my husband and I had a conversation and agreed that splitting up was the best decision. I was crushed, because I loved him, but at the same time I felt relief- like I had pulled the plug after living on life support for years. Neither of us had been happy for a very long time, and it was time to call it quits.

And then,  something magical happened.

Overnight,  I woke up to a different man.  And shortly thereafter,  I woke up a new woman.  Our whole marriage changed.  Suddenly we were having conversations about things we’d always just fought about before.  We were spending time together,  not because of shared responsibility but by choice and without the kids as crutches. I started to see the man I married again. I don’t know what exactly caused such a change in us both, but I’m grateful it happened. I think we both realized what we wanted wasn’t to be single- it was to be happy together.  A year later and we stayed at a hotel this past weekend simply to be alone together.

Anyone who knows either of us very well can tell you,  my husband and I are polar opposites. He loves sports,  and im a band geek.  He was homecoming king and I was emo af. He’s a pretty conservative white male atheist who believes that any mental illness is all in your head (I mean obviously but whatever 😂) and im a super liberal pansexual pagan counseling major.   We have very few common interests and even fewer mutual friends. But you know what all that adds up to?

Between the two of us, we see both sides of everything (even when there shouldn’t be two sides 😂). He’s a firm hand, and I’m a warm hug. He’s coolness and logic and strength where I’m warmth and emotion and heart. He has me to remind him when things need a gentle touch and I have him to tell me when to hold my ground. I’m there to offer him love and understanding when he’s too tough to break, and he’s there to be an unwavering pillar when break is all I can do.

We’ve certainly had our ups and downs over the last 13 years, and we still do. The man drives me batshit bonkers and is more stubborn than if a mule, an ox, and the most stubborn person you know created some kind of mutant creature with a pig head. But I think as long as we can both appreciate the things that make us different and try to see from the other persons perspective…  we’ll be okay.Happy anniversary, babe. I love you.

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