And Now Abideth These Three:

My head lately seems filled with thoughts of my heart sisters who created this page with me. I’m missing their presence in my life so much recently- I feel like something’s missing. I feel terrible today. I suddenly, and without warning, projectile vomited all over myself and my car on my way home from work…

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Love: I Sprinkle That Shit on Everything

I’m gonna tell you a secret. I don’t ever look at WHO posted something on Facebook before I react to and/or share it. The only exception to that rule is if I’m going to tag someone-then I’ll look to make sure that’s not the person who shared it. But then I just won’t tag them…

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Day 4748 of the Hostage Situation

Today is my 13th wedding anniversary. I was thinking about this on the way home last night, and if I’m completely honest, I never thought we’d make it to this day.  Just over a year ago, my husband and I had a conversation and agreed that splitting up was the best decision. I was crushed,…

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One Year Ago…

One year ago today, I attended a funeral for a man I barely knew. I always liked him,  we had spoken on a few occasions and my little superpower of knowing the kind of person someone is right away had let me know that he was a sweet, funny guy who I could easily get…

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Depression is an Asshole

I’ve been waiting to post something  for awhile. Waiting for some magnificent, poignant, meaningful, uplifting bit of something to find its way into my head and out through my fingers. And you know what I’ve come up with? NADA. Zip, zilch, zero. Over the course of the last couple of months, I’ve slipped back into a…

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Fuck It, I’m Shaving My Head.

What do you do when life throws everything at you all at once? When it feels like your life and everything in it is spinning out of control and there’s no end in sight? I have a habit of doing superficial things (haircuts, hair color, tattoos) because they give me control of something. If nothing…

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Insomnia, Ghosts of the Past, and The White Tree

I can’t sleep. Not that that’s unusual. Here lately, the unusual is my new normal, and sleep has been a faraway dream, with the exception of one night, for most of the last week. Except lately, when I can’t sleep, I don’t lay in bed and cry because I’m tired and miserable and would do…

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What is that light? It burns!

© 2015 by 19reka94 So, I finally did it. I made the trip to the mental health clinic.  For anyone who hasn’t already read this in another post, I have been searching for a psychologist/psychiatrist for a few years now. It’s almost impossible to find one in my area that takes my insurance, and finding…

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Up, Down, Turnaround

God, I really hate coming down… I don’t know if you have or have dealt with someone with bipolar disorder, but I’ve been in a hypomanic episode for the last couple of weeks- (for those who don’t know, hypomania is like a manic episode, but much less severe- it’s one of the biggest differences between…

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Happy Sadness? Or Sad Happiness? Is That a Thing??

Good grief. I don’t even know where else to start. I feel so many things right now, all at once, and I think my heart may explode from the pressure of it all. I just turned in my final assignment for my Associate’s degree, and even though everything has gone insane lately, and you would…

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